Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sight of First Love



"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
~Amy Bloom





I woke up and saw you sleeping in the morning light and felt your cheek. Warm like sleep and soft like the morning glow. I held that image as I got on the bus among the people and faces I do not know and never will know me. I remembered the sound of your breathing as I pet the dog and walked into my day.

I drive home and the fumes and clutter of life fill my car. Honking. "What the fuck was that??!" The large black woman yells at the asian couple in a large, American rental that just cut her off. Tension. Heat. I remember your smile in the cool morning water. The feel of your hand in the waves. The noise blur together but underneath is the steady rhythm of your constant, silent forgiveness.

The door opens with a beep and the smell of the rodents in their small ventilated micro-isolator cages is overwhelming. My senses seize as the air feels slow and hot. The sterility of the walls and floor. The sounds of lives, little lives, scratching. Anxiety and desperation. Your laughter over wine on the deck with my family. The way you grab an extra cookie for me without even having to ask. Refreshing feel of wind and smell of forest.

Surrounded, by life. But you still are there.

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